How do other seperated/divorced fathers cope with only seeing their children at weekends?

i dont think i will be able to cope emotionally with only 2 days a week with my childrenHow do other seperated/divorced fathers cope with only seeing their children at weekends?
It's really tough, I am many miles from my daughter, but I make sure we keep in contact via e-mail and texts when we're not together. I send her a card or a wee something each week which she keeps in a box just so she knows I am still thinking about her.


For me the key has been to make sure she knows I love her and no matter what we think of each other my ex and I never show anything other than solidarity in front of my daughter, same rules apply.


I am also very lucky in that my fiancee has been very supportive, which takes a lot of strain off, especially as my ex is remarried and there is the minefield of the new ';father figure';


Bottom line is it is not easy, but consistency and making sure you get the most of every minute you have together help ease the pain. I took my daughter for granted when we lived together, I have since found many benefits with being focused when we are together, no distractions, etc.


It is important not to spoil the children tho' no matter how bad you feel for not being there in the week, I went there and it seriously backfired, things are much better now, two years later. It still hurts like hell, but I find writing a diary of my feelings helps, once my daughter is old enough I will share this with her, to help her understand.





Hope this helps, I really feel for you, it is so tough, but it does get easier. feel free to mail me if you want to talk more.How do other seperated/divorced fathers cope with only seeing their children at weekends?
YOU SOUND LIKE A RARE DAD..


A LOT OF PEOPLE I KNOW AND WORK WITH ARE LUCKY IF THEY GET A CALL ASKING HOW THERE KIDS ARE LET ALONE WANT TO SEE THEM MORE..





I KNOW THERE ARE GOOD DADS OUT THERE... ABOUT TIME YOU STARTED STANDING OUT FOR GOOD REASONS RATHER THAN THERE STEREOTYPICAL...





MAYBE YOU COULD CALL THEM DURING THE WEEK ALSO AND POP ROUND MAYBE MID WEEK IN THE EVENING FOR A BIT. DEPENDS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER...





HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS, MAYBE THEY COULD STAY SOME WEEKS WITH YOU LIKE HOLIDAYS ETC.





JUST REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN THIS SCENARIO AND THERE STABILITY IS VERY IMPORTANT, ESPECIALLY IF THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN IS VERY NEW.





HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT..
talk to the ex...see if you can be envolved more...doctor app..take them to dinner...help with home work...pick them up from school to take them home...dont miss a game...call them at night just to say good night....little things like this will help.....she needs your help maybe to afraid to ask for it
think yourself lucky. i dont see mine at all. dont forget when there old enough they may choose to live with you. until then enjoy the little time you have together, make sure its always special. take lots of photos. memories will keep you going.. good luck..
I dont know how they cope , i can only answer from the other point of view , my mother walked out and didnt have contact that she was awarded and it left me feeling very angry for years so even if it is only two days make the most of it your children will treasure the time they spend with you .
I am in a situation which is the other way around - my ex-husband is an absolute @@**%$ and wouldn't let me take our daughter with me when we split up.... so as a mum it was really difficult in the beginning - but 7 years on, I am happy with the situation, I get to see my daughter nearly every weekend now becuase she wants to be with me, and I get all the 'quality time' with her, we do nice things instead of the boring mundane things my ex-husband has to do like getting her ready for school etc.





I still miss her like hell through the week, but we are all happy now instead of miserable because my ex and I didn't want to be together.





She knows her mummy loves her and she loves my new partner, she stays with me during holidays and we go away together.





I know that it will be really hard for you at the start, and you will be devastated a lot of the time... please believe me though - it does get better, especially when your children start to get older and make their own decisions.
It difficult at first. But it becomes really cool. You rarely have to tell the kids off. So, you are almost always ';The good guy';


You can do all the fun things with them.


They're only a phone call away during the week.


As the children adjust to the situation they will see the fun in going over to your house. I suggest to not take things too seriously, usually children will adjust quicker that the parents.


If you are active and take the kids out on your weekends you will quickly meet others in the same situation. Some of my best friends were met this way.





Keep control of your emotions and just have fun on the weekends. As men are more immature than women the kids will have as much and maybe more fun at your house. Dont forget to make your home ';Kid- friendly'; Playstation, Toys ect
If you dont your letting them down in my opinion... Life does go on as I'm sure you're aware....





Just need to be strong for them and your own feelings will follow.... How are they feeling...? I'll say this not meaning to be harsh or nasty...





Think of their feelings before your own....
get the most out of those 2 days
Its not easy but like others have said don't give up you have to make the most of every minute you have - no that doesn't mean be full on out doing something all the time - sometimes just sitting watching TV next to each other is enough. Remember its about Quality of the time not its quantity 30 minutes in the park of quality can mean more to the kids and you than 3 hours of lower quality. let them see sides to you that they would not normally see too - I bake a lot with my 3 year old girl something she wouldn't normally have seen or be involved in. As others have said you can always work towards seeing them on certain nights during the week too - with regards to the kids - always, whatever your relationship and gripes with their mum make sure 100% that your actions are to do with the kids being most important and not motivated by getting back at your ex or scoring brownie points over her with the kids. And make sure you ex knows this too - she might not beleive it at first but time and actions will prove it to her.





One final thing at the end of every weekend when they go back try to do something or have something planned to occupy yourself. A place with kids can become very quiet and lonely after they leave and it doesn't matter how many times you never get used to them going home it hurts me like hell every Sunday - I go to friends houses, go shopping, anything - trust me sitting in an empty quiet house/flat after they have left won't help in the early months.
I couldn't imagine. That's why me and my ex decided on weekly rotations. I get them one week with a day in between to go to their dads and then he gets them one week and I get them during the week. I can't go more than 4 days without them otherwise it changes me completely (for the worse). Luckily they are old enough and me and their dad live less than a mile away and technically i can see them whenever I want to that this works out good. It may not be good for younger children. All in all, you will eventually adjust and if you and your ex are on good terms it will be better for everyone.
Dont be like my dad and not do anything. Even though Im 18, when I see my dad he just cooks me food and then it's like Im not even there. Do as much as possible with your children because you really dont want to miss out on anything...and they need to feel that even though their parents arent together anymore, that they are still loved very much. %26lt;3
Guess your still hurting, believe me it will get better, i am with a guy who only sees his kids for a couple of hours on saturdays but he makes the effort to travel a 100 mile round trip to do it ,before moving he did see them 2 hrs on sundays and had them 1 weekend a month. Just keep up the contact no matter how little, your their dad they need you and they wont always be young, one day when their old enough you can explain why it had to be. good luck