Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How do I cope with my empty house? Divorce question?

My wife left me yesterday. Its my fault I should of dealt with my PTSD disorder. She took the kids to her mothers, I am alone in the house. I hate it here, I am having a hard time keeping myself together. I dont know how I am going to get used to coming home to a empty house after work. Its just going to be too hard to see the kids toys my wife clothes and everything else.


How do I cope with coming home to a empty house ?How do I cope with my empty house? Divorce question?
you face it like you do everything else when you are a soldier, head on. you get counseling and you go to that house and you stay there. you feel everything that comes your way and let it blow thru you like wind thru a tree. you face your fears and your short comings and you make peace with them. in short you act like a MAN.How do I cope with my empty house? Divorce question?
I'm sorry for your tragedy. All of your thoughts are very normal after a rough breakup or divorce. To cope with coming home to your empty house, consider buying new furniture or moving some things around in your house, so it looks a little different. Rearrange your living room, bedroom, and kitchen. Keep your kids' toys in a closet, so when they come over, they can find them in there. Keep in your wife's clothes in a seperate drawer or storage box, so she can easily access it. Don't buy everything new, but just move things to different positions. This way, it would feel like you moved to a different house, and your rooms could look more filled.





Besides just moving things around your house, you might want to consider doing other things to keep yourself busy. When going through a rough breakup, it gives you the opportunity to do things you never got to do when you were in the relationship. Instead of going straight home from work, go find some new hobbies, go shopping, buy some books at Barnes %26amp; Nobles, have some coffee at Starbucks and just read the newpaper.... When you're not dealing with your personal issues, focus on YOU-time. See the article below on how to get over a breakup.





For more love advice, feel free to email advice.relationship@yahoo.com.
Deffinatly get a dog. Someone you can take care of (sorry something) and treat it as if it was you pride and joy while your at home. Dont consider it as coming to an empty house, consider it coming home. You never know its early you might work things out, i dont know your situation but you should deffiantly give it more time. You will soon find ways to pass your time.
Have you trying calling her and letting know you miss her and the kids. Are you now dealing with your problem so she can come back home? Why don't you start on yourself first just like she asked you and just maybe she'll come home with the kids. She should have the house due to the kids not you. Call her and ask her to bring home your children.
This is not the first time . You need to throw in the white towel ... move on ...Find someone that makes you happy . Get your life together alone . Keep your kids part time ...do your visitation and work on your goals ...not the female.....';.wrench 'that hurts you all the time!!!! Have you not figured it out that you..... can't catch the rain.... You are not dancen to the same beat .......Man ...she just don't feel the same !!!
You need to find some good, healthy hobbies to keep your mind off of things for the short-term.


Getting together with a good group of friends...the BAR does not count. That's counter-productive.


Something outdoors.. Fishing, Hiking, Cave Exploration


Archery is a fun hobby where you can NEVER practice enough.


Come up with defined goals, projects. Immerse yourself in something new.


Start with small goals.. something that'll take two to three days to get done, then move on to week-long projects, then up to month-long projects... You'll deal in time, but take it slow. For the short term, distraction (not denial) is your friend.
She hasn't been gone long enough to worry about yet. PTSD is rough on loved ones. I know, as have had the condition since 1968.





Right now, maybe you can use the solitude to clear your thoughts. Avoid all alcohol and drugs. Turn on a radio or TV for sound. Sit here on the computer and try to fill your time in some manner.





Give it a bit. After she calms down or gives you time to, she will likely return.





If you threatened to harm her or anyone, man get some help. Tomorrow would not be too soon. The only place I know to call if you are a vet is the suicide hotline at http://www.va.gov/va_files/images/frame/…





I hope this helps.





Send all your weapons over to someone else's. You don't need them right now.
Make it comfortable for yourself, by leaving lights on, maybe the radio or t.v., and have some of your favorite dinners stored in the freezer, or treat yourself to take-out. Call and speak with someone every evening. Even just calling someone to pay a bill over the phone could keep you from feeling lonely, and keep you feeling like you are accomplishing something.
i dont think ur wife left you forever if she and the kids left their clothes and stuff ....i would say just pull yourself togethr until she comes back and when she does you can show her that you changed and now you are a better person also you can apologize by phone or mail


hope this helped ,good luck
First off, I'm sorry. This is a terrible adjustment period. I really don't have any advice to give other then maybe give your wife time.. try and give her a few days and talk to her. There's still a chance you can work things out. If she has no desire to.. get a dog. Seriously.. they are wonderful companions and will be eager to greet you at the door!


Best wishes I hope you can work your marriage out.
get the help you needed in the first place. make an appointment and let her know about it. she shouldn't have to live with your PTSD because your not getting the help i'm sure she's asked you to get. it's not fair for her, the kids and even yourself
Join activities.. If you really have PTSD, then it's not your fault that your wife left.. It's her not wanting to be a true life partner through this hard time.. Apply for visitation.. Get your life back on track (Counseling,etc), and you could find another woman.. Good luck man! Tell me how things are!
i'm just a teenager but it happened to me recently. my dad was soooo depressed. i would suggest try dating or set a goal to have something to feel like living for. or try getting your kids every other week or something. you have the right!
what about trying to get help with your disorder and get your family back , then you won.t have an empty to house to deal with, anything else is just a substitute for them.
ur gonna just have to get used to it, find urself, try and change, maybe ur wife will love you again someday, if u treat her like like every woman deserves to be treated.
I would say get a new place. Also find activities to do, get a pet. Keep yourself active.





Also, you could let your wife and children know how much you miss them and how you wish you could have them back.
She'll probably come back for her clothes and the kid's toys. Get your Blues song together.
Well get rid of her stuff. Try taking a walk to get some air. Also try getting join custody of the kids. There your kids too enjoy them.
Find a single mother that needs a place to live and your wife will come back I can't be alone ether lol
Sorry to hear your unhappiness hun, things will get better soon.
GET INVOLVE WITH SPORTS OR PUT SOME TIME AT THE SHELTERS DO WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO AND MAYBE SHE WILL SEE YOU MAKING A BIG CHANGE HER MIND AND COME BACK
If you like pets get a pet. Call some friends over and hang out. Have an outside barbecue.
Get some friends man. You need people in your life.
You should get a dog or a cat :]
fill it up with family and friends
i know it is very hard. find things to do with buddies or other family members
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