How do I cope with divorce?

*Please only sincere answers!*





I married Jekyll %26amp; Hyde. He was prince charming before the wedding. I found out right after I said I do, he was truly a narcissist.


My husband cheated on me 3 weeks after our wedding %26amp; threatened to continue. I'm not the type to be controlled %26amp; he didn't like that very much (I guess he expected me to just accept it?). So I left to my parents. I'm a committed christian so I don't believe in divorce %26amp; pleaded with him get counseling. We've been seperated for a few months %26amp; now he's cheating on me again with a blonde ballerina that he says he ';loves';.


I have no choice but to give up. I took off my rings last night. I've tried to be strong, but I'm so devestated. I can barely breathe! I was blindsided by this. We didn't even have a chance; we just got married! Like most girls this was my dream. But I realized I married such evil!


To add insult to injury he denies to everyone the affairs (even though I have written proof!) %26amp; tells every one I left him.How do I cope with divorce?
mmmm....DIVORCE...an ugly horrible word I told someone once...';wasnt in my vocabulary...and i didnt believe in it!';...that's why he wanted to marry me...





i'm a devout Christian myself...my situation was a tad different...he was in love with me (madly...very deeply...i was his only, at 20)...we were different ppl, and young and stupid...i was secure with him...so i said yes...we were married for 4 years, all of which i wasnt really happy but i thought...we can make this work...i will change eventually...but it just didnt happen...





everyone makes mistakes...i left, but i was SO scared of the word divorce...i mean...look at me...im 25...i dont want to be like all the rest of the people that ive sat back and said ';ill never be like that...ill NEVER divorce...that was my plan...but sometimes the choices that God allows us to make, or the circumstances that God allows to happen around us, arent at all what our plans were...what we dont realize is that God can see the grand scheme of things...and HIS plan is the perfect plan...





I stayed in my marriage for 3 years totaly miserable, i tried, i changed for him, i did what i thought would make it better, but it didnt...there was no compromise...God sees your efforts and He deffinately hears your prayers!...His answers may not be what we want to hear all the time...but they...in the end are the best answers...





Its scary i know...i had 2 nervous break downs with in a week...at 26!...i had never been on my own really...i had been with this man for 5 years!...we had built a life togther, we were supposed to be together FOREVER!....





im NOT telling you that you should divorce your husband...i would never advise anyone to do that!...that's between you and God...but no matter what happens divorce or not, i will tell you that God's Grace, and forgiveness spreads farther and wider and deeper than we could ever imagine...He loves us we are His children, and He has UNCONDITIONAL love for me and for YOU!...





You let your husband know that you love him...regardless...remeber if we cant show other unconditonaly that we love them, how can we expect the same from our Father in heaven?





give your husband, your marriage, and even that blonde ballerina...all to God...all of it...he will bear your burdens...





He's trying you like gold...putting you through the fire, in the end you will be like a precious metal tried and pure!How do I cope with divorce?
hope you guys didn't have kids cos it would be messy.


and i bet there are alot of good guys out there that would be willing to be your prince charming, or should i say ';knight in shinning Armour';..considering you're all grown now..


on another note , you could send me your number..lol j/k..


make friends, live ur life, take timeout to learn the things you don't know about life, and about yourself..


grow..spread your wings and fly.
I'm married with 2 young daughters. My husband has also cheated on me many times. Each time he'd push the blame to me, said i wasn't loving enough, said i wasn't caring enough. He even said i was not spending enough time with him, thou everyday after work i'd go straight home, and he wasn't there. Even now i knew that he has another woman outside. You should count yourself lucky that both of you dont have any kids. Such men will not change. Move on with your life. Keep yourself busy with your family or friends. We have to be brave. Life only live once. Dont put yourself in sorrow. Lets step out of this unhappiness together.
Let him talk all the crap he wants. You know the truth. You need to get out of that marriage as fast as you can girl. Once a cheater always a cheater. Why put up with it. Yeah may still love him but is it worth the heart ache? Hell no.... I know it hurts like crazy but with family and true friends you will get through this i promise you that. My 2nd husband did crap to me also like that and now we are getting a divorce soon the best thing ever for me. Take your lost and run as far as you can he will only keep bring you down.RESPECT YOURSELF YOUR BETTER THEN WHAT HE HAS DONE TO YOU.BEST OF LUCK....
SIMPLE...JUST TURN AROUND AND KEEP WALKING WITHOUT LOOKING BACK! YOU CAN DO IT!
first of all, he has no power over you, so he can't destroy your life. You did everything you could, be kind to yourself. God knows you're sincere and how hard you tried. Don,'t mind what others do, live your life for yourself, you don't have to justify your actions and be perfect. Humans aren't and will never be perfect. Stand on your feet, love yourself and next time, date first before getting married. Don't punish yourself you're entitled to be happy ! By the way, what the point


of staying with him he doesn't love you; be brave, you'll survive it and will become a stronger realistic woman worth to be loved. Just take care of yourself.
Practical advice....read and reread about narcissists. They are one of the worst personality disorders. I don't think God will be mad at you for separating yourself from that. Religion is very strict sometimes, I personally prefer spiritual values. If you live your life with love and compassion then you can't go wrong, if you keep yourself in harms way in the name of God, this would make him sad I think...so get that out of your head and do what is right for you...my husbands ex wife has been labeled a narcissist, she is a blond ballerina in Maryland...who dates nothing but married men....they would be a match made in heaven...I wish you the best, take care of yourself, surround yourself with good people and you will be fine. I know that you will be fine....I am divorced and remarried to a wonderful man....you can be too.
Yes, you can do it. Everyone can pull through the devastation of betrayal and divorce. I'm sorry to hear about what's happening to you.





It may not seem like it now, but yes, you can handle this. God only sends us what we can handle. I won;t lie to you, it will hurt like nothing else and you will cry yourself to sleep for a while...but then you will put yourself together again. Stand on your own feet and regaing yourself back. Go back to school , get a hobbie, go on an exotic cruise or a back packing adventure. Keep your self occupied and away from the memories and him. Keep yourself busy and seek support in Good, your family and friends.





Good luck
Sorry to hear that, but try this great article.





Getting Over a Divorce: How To Heal and Move On


http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relatio鈥?/a>
I know how you feel about not believing in divorce, and I'm a Christian as well, but I hate to say it, but you need to move on. You have proof of his being unfaithful to you, and I think you need to seek an attorney and file for divorce. You don't deserve this pain and heartache that he's putting you through and obviously doesn't care about you.
Sorry to hear about your situation .Divorce is never easy and it sounds like your husband is very controlling as well intimidating.and manipulative. You need to accept this for what it is and realize it is not your fault .If you have done all you can do then accept it and move on . Don't let his actions dictate your future. And as far as deez answer if a person does not like someones sincere question then hang out in another forum this is a place where people seek help to a very difficult subject keep your rude comments to your self. I hope my answer to the divorce was helpful and I am sorry that you received a rude answer for you honest question keep your faith and hold your head up high.
You made the right dision. Leave him. It doesn't matter who said what. You deserve a peaceful of your life. Time will heal everything. As you know he's a real jerk and a cheater, it's no reason for you to turn back. You need to get over it and live your new life. Everyone made mistake in life. Hope this jerk can be just a big mistake in your life and you still have a lot of wonderful things and wonderful person waiting for you. Life always has bright side and dark side. Considering you have a dark side now and later on the bright side will shine on you. Rain will stop and the sky will be bright again. Good luck and move on.
Honestly





It's not easy. But at the end of the day you can't make yourself be miserable. He doesn't deserve you and is clearly not mature enough to handle being married and being committed to one woman.





The best advice I can give you is to surround yourself with family and not let his immaturity and him being a jackass ruin your life. You will get through this as long as you continue respecting yourself like you have been. Most women who's husbands have affairs on them and threaten them don't get out for years and that's the lucky ones that do get out.





You have a good head on your shoulders and you deserve to be with someone that is willing to committ. The divorce will be hard but that's just the thing about life. Pain is inevitable, misery is optional.
First of all, your life is not destroyed. I thought my life was to when the same thing happened to me. It takes time to bounce back. But my faith helped me though also. I had to learn to LISTEN to god and stop asking why all the time. Day by day you will recieve signs. It is now 3 years and I am in such a better place. Good Luck.
He hasn't destroyed your life he has set you free to meet someone who will love you. I was married to a man just like yours 18 years ago they knock your self esteem down to nothing so you feel almost grateful that he's with you. Get a life WOMAN. T he world is full of loving decent blokes and they come when you least expect it. This is just the start.Don't get caught up in the whole who left who thing its over and thats it.I don't believe in divorce either vows are said all to easily these days but you took yours in good faith,you have nothing to feel bad about.
You have give it your best by the sounds of things,you need to sort out your finances first then make your plan,you will go through various stages but you will come out .There is no easy route out some stages whisk by others linger a little longer but this to shall pass you are worth so much more than having to go through this nightmare in the name of love!!Just put yourself first at every stage .Don't waste any more energy on him he has given you the reasons not to.Good luck
that my dear is called basement living because he is unable to take responability for his own actions.





Sounds 2 me that ur ex has mental issue, and he is a psycho path, which is why he did such a smear champain.





he is trying 2 suck the life out of u because he has none within his own soul.





remember the bible verse '; beware of sheeps in Wolves Cothing';





the past tells the future to a degree and its not long before he cheats on her, and truly he did u a favor.





going through a divorce will take u through more emotions then u know


and its good 2 get education on this as the


stages are denial,anger, sadness and sorrow.





also a good community on the net would b good 2 join , other woman whom have been trough this, along with the verbal abuse book, and starting over.





in the end its about letting go , and getting new dreams, new friends and building a healthy life for yourself and god wants u 2 b healthy





blessings
Because he CHEATED, you have legal and moral grounds for divorce. If this is your choice, move on.





Any other reason for divorce would be invalid, for the benefit of readers who might not understand.





I am crusading for divorce to be made illegal, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness as you have described.
I am very sorry about your situation.


I am a christian also and I'm wondering after reading your problem I asked myself of how you could ever put yourself in this situation. How could you marry an unbeliever? don't you know what the Bible says about it?





2 Corinthians 6:14


Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?





Being a christian and part of the body of Christ you should have been careful in choosing a husband and if he was fitting into Biblical standarts.





Regarding your position right now. There are two roads and one is to be choosen.





1 Corinthians 7:13-16


13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.





14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.





15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.





16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?





First you need to confess your sin to God and pray for forgiveness and according to His Word you will be forgiven. Then you need to talk to your husband and tell him that you as a Christian made a big mistake by getting married to him as an unbeliever. The options are clear in the Scriptures what to do. If he chooses to stay he must be faithful to you in marriage. If he refuses to get in line with your Scriptual believes then you can distance yourself from him and even divorce him.





If you want to discuss this any further e-mail me.
My wife went through a divorce and she managed through it by finding someone going through a divorce / separation at the exact same time. That person is now one of her closest friends.





Take a look around. There are so many people dealing with separation/ divorce, you should be able to find someone.





What happened when you asked him to go to counseling? What is the next step you want to do? Why did you move out?





I like the start of your story. Keep focusing on what you're trying to do and what you want. This may not end in divorce but keep to your values and be true to yourself.





Good luck.
I was divorced ones to a person you described. I had no choice of divorcing him otherwise, they would have put me in a mental institution ! Get out of it, while you can !
I don't have the patience to read that rediculously long question. But I have heard that the best way to get over a man/woman is to get under another!
Cope with it?!?!? Enjoy it!!! Now you have learned a valuable lesson DON'T EVER GET MARRIED AGAIN!!! Here are some other facts you need to know just in case you haven't learned:





1. There is no Santa


2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat


3. Marriage sucks


4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)


5. Life is not fair





Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me


if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't


lie anymore.