How to cope with moving on after a divorce?

My ex-husband and I separated almost a year ago. It was his decision. I didn't even see it coming. We together for almost a decade. We have two boys together. I started seeing a guy shortly after. After a few months I introduced him to my kids. I couldn't ask for anyone better for them. My husband and I divorced in April and he remarried in July and has a baby on the way. Since his remarrying he hasn't seen his kids or called in to check. All 3 of us are from Ohio but are in texas for the same reason (army). My boyfriend is about to get out of the service and wants me to go with him and marry him. My ex thinks he's great and wants him to adopt the kids. But this all happen so fast in less than a year. I don't know if I'm ready to move, I'm scared of everything. This divorce was really hard on me and still is. Is there any advice that can help my decision on moving back home? My ex is also moving to Canada with his wife soon. But i'm not sure if I'm ready to leave the life i have in Texas even though i have nothing here and I know this. What's the best way to let go?How to cope with moving on after a divorce?
too much too fast..sheesh.How to cope with moving on after a divorce?
He's moved on. If you're not ready, don't do it. You can keep this guy in your life and just tell him it's too fast right now. If he can't understand, it's his problem. What I don't get, is how every divorced couple I know is remarried within a year or so. Is it because they feel like they have something to prove? If that's the case, just slow down and concentrate on the kids, who really need you right now.
Don't make important decisions if you are overwhelmed.If this man loves you he will wait for you within reason. I suggest seeking help from a therapist and bring your bf with you. That way you will hopefully get the help you need and your bf will have an understanding of how the divorce has affected you.
I've read numerous times while trying to reconcile my own divorce that it takes a MINIMUM of two years to heal from your failed marriage. There's too much emotional crap to work through. Not knowing you, but speaking from personal experience, I would recommend working on yourself and not a new relationship. It would be the best gift you could give your kids. (IMHO)
wow! i would take 2 steps back and prolong things.you are moving way to fast and when it all hits you it will be to late.so from experience slow down.you need to finish one chapter in life at a time not keep skipping pages.so as for getting over the ex,that takes time,how long depends on the person.
If your boyfriend adopts the children that means the real father will NEVER have to pay child support.





Think about that before you agree to it.
this is way to tough for this room, you need prof. advice. thanks for listening leespan
Just so you know where I'm coming from, I'm currently a deployed mother of two young children, and am separated from my husband of five years with plans to divorce almost as soon as I step foot stateside. It's wonderful that you found someone who treats you and your boys the way you should be treated. As a mother it's extremely difficult to have the biological father act as your ex husband is acting towards his sons, it's not right, but that's beside the point. Have you thought about discussing your fears and concerns to your new guy? Maybe he'd be willing to stay in Texas for a while with you. I can totally understand how marriage again and a move would be very scary. I would like to think that your new guy if he truly cares for you and your sons that he'd be willing to stick around in Texas for a while. And since I was stationed there, I would say that unless you're in El Paso. There shouldn't be too many problems for him to find a decent job. Sorry, I'm a bit biased, El Paso wasn't an easy place for me to find a decent job.
The only problem I'd have is your kids. They've lost their father in this divorce in more ways than one. I cannot understand why a man would throw away his kids like that. Those kids have to feel terrible. I'd get them counseling to make absolutely sure they can handle this. Also I'd hold off on adoption. Make sure the ex pays child support. That's most likely the reason he's so anxious for someone else to adopted his children. Don't let him off the hook so easily.
Well, I can tell you that I waited to date until I had been separated from my wife for an entire year. I used that time to grieve the loss of my marriage and the family that I had grown into over the span of over a decade. I worked on my new house and concentrated on the adjustment for my kids and the new neighborhood. I got used to sleeping alone and now I hog the whole bed.


Moving on wasn't easy. I feel isolated at times. I often wonder if I doomed to be alone forever, but I know that I am just in a quiet period in my life. Look, I am not some religious freak, but I offer you my sincere daily prayer.


I pray ever day on my knees at the foot of my bed. I pray for my children's hearts softening in harsh times. I thank god for what he has given me and for what I have today. I pray for my ex because she needs our prayers. I pray that god finds me worthy of his will and the next great love and chapter of my life be revealed.
I wouldn't do any drastic moves until you are comfortable doing them. As long as you feel questionable about it, stay where you know you will be happy (or content any way). If your BF goes back without you, you will know right away if you made the wrong choice or not. You could always catch up with him if you have a change of heart.


BTW- your ex is an idiot! You're better off without that type of man! I hope your boys are doing okay dealing with Daddy's disappearing act. What a jerk.