Family cannot get over my divorce - strange?

My ex-husband and I were divorced back in 2001. There were no children from that marrige.





I was very religious (Christian) when I was married the first time, but very young and naive. My family are all very religious and nobody in our family has ever been divorced before. My mother has stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship with my dad due to religious convictions etc....





When I first announced that my ex-husband and I had separated, everyone was relieved and happy for me, as none of them had ever liked him.





But as things progressed and we eventually divorced, they started to feel uneasy about everything because they don't know how to cope with the issue of divorce.





I have since deconverted from religion, and have never been happier. I met the man of my dreams and have a wonderfully fulfilled life. We have a 15 month old daughter, and are now expecting our second.





The problem is that whenever I talk to my family or see them, my ex comes up in the conversation. I've moved on in such a wonderful direction and love my life. But it's like they just can't get over it or come to terms with it........ it's such a weird thing.





I don't want to be rude, but may have to start pretending like I don't know who they're talking about when they question me about things. They don't do it in an offensive way, but it is starting to feel offensive since it's been about 9 years since my ex and I first broke up!!





They don't know how to get over it....... but I have and just want them to move on like I have! I don't want them to keep talking about it every time we speak - it's annoying, not to mention rude.





Any ideas?Family cannot get over my divorce - strange?
oh wow, I know exactly how that feels as I went through more or less the same thing at about the same time you did. If your family are deeply religious I'm afraid that there will always be at least a tiny part of them that will believe that your ex is your 'true' husband. Distateful as it may seem to you I think you may have to be a little bit 'rude' to get oyur point across. Have a word with them in private - explain that you are now a wife and mother and you don't want them talking about your ex in front of your child(ren). It's been almost a decade now and perhaps you can appeal to their religious convictions by explaining that you don't want your children asking you awkward questions about your past before you are ready to do so. They may point to the age of your daughter but just tell them you want them to get into the habit of not mentioning him before she is old enough to understand.Family cannot get over my divorce - strange?
Tell them to get over it or you will leave every time they mention him. He is your ex that you shared nothing but some memories and a last name. There is no children, therefore, no reason for him to be brought up. If they don't stop after a month, stop contact with them for a month to show them just how serious you are.
Yes, let them keep their views and carry on with your new life. You've moved on and so should they particularly if they never liked the other chap. Sadly they probably do not like your current relationship and this is their way of dealing with it
i really dont understand why are they behaving like that..infact they should be happy seeing u happily married...i guess u should avoid them and refuse to participate whenver they bring the topic of ur ex....may be they understand that u r not liking it...its been a long time...
Maybe what you could do evertime they mention him you could mention your hubby, duuno hope it helps!
don't talk to them unless your with your new bf ...if they bring up your ex...just leave. they'll get the message
You say you don't want to appear rude - I'd say that is what your family are being. How rude of them to keep referring to someone who broke your marriage through his abusinve behaviour. How rude of them to refer constantly to someone who has caused you to break with your religion. How rude of them not to acknowledge that you have found true companionship with another more suitable partner. The answer for you, I'm afraid, is for you to point out to your relatives how rude they are being.
Hi there,


i have the same story here!





Well the purpose of our lives is to be happy and what you need to understand is that your parents have lived their lives accordingly to the society at that time and now things have changed!





What you need to do is to convey the message that you are happy and that you are mature enough to move on in your life and make good decisions!!


We can't cry on spilt milk over and over again because now you have one baby, nearly two and you have a man who loves you!


I don't think that you are gonna go back to your ex after everything but if your parents are talking about him, just ignore and don't say anything because one time they will be tired about all of this!





Maybe they are being harassed by the ex families or relatives that's y they keep telling you but send them pictures of your kids and your new family and show them that you are happy!





As parents the only thing that matters to them is that they need to know that their children are happy!





As a christian , you should probably know that even if your parents forsake you , god will never do!Pray for them and be nice to them....





I know that they are gonna accept the reality that we live for ourselves and not for society as long as we know what we are doing!






i agree with u it is rude and as your family they should be supportive to you and not let something like religion get in the way, i don't understand when people can put religion before family its strange, but then religion is a strange thing, im not religious but i do believe in God, good on you for getting out of that relationship if it wasn't making you happy then mad the right choice regardless of what your family think, your parents should be proud of you that you have managed to move on with your life and not be controlled by a ';bible'; and created a beautiful child and there is another on the way, god luck in life hun i hope that they don't carry on with this x sh*t maybe you need to tell em how its making u feel take care, x