It's usually harder on the person who did NOT want the divorce. It depends on many things, and what one chooses in their life. Instead of concentrating on what went wrong, take this time to find out who YOU are, and what YOU want to do with YOUR life. Contrary to popular belief, a husband is NOT a necessary commodity.How did you cope with separation?
PLEASE concentrate STRONGLY on YOU!
In a short while you'll be wondering why you even gave him your thoughts, let alone your love!
Report Abuse
learn to let go, if he loved you enough, he woulda tried to fix the problem. pull yourself together and think, ';is it really worth it? is he having a hard time with coping? he knows it hurts, hes doing it to me. he knows what he is doing, ruining my life'; my mom had the sam eproblem, the beginning is great, but that was a joke. some people don't care about what theyre doing to the people they said to once love. Let go.
id like to slap that other person..anyways, i went through this. although i was the one who initiated the breakup, i still had feelings like this. i found that crying really got it out of me. i cried till i couldnt cry anymore. it started to make me sick and after awhile i couldnt do it. being busy didnt help me. i found it helped more when i just sat in the quiet and searched through my feelings..after a bit of this..again, i couldnt do it anymore, i got sick of thinking about it. it will get easier the more you look it in the face and deal with it. its the hard way..but really, you will be stronger after it. exercise helps too. i took an easy kickboxing class and pretend whatever i punched or kicked was my ex. i was exausted when i came home, so all i did was sleep really good, it would keep the feelings from welling up again. i was too tired. success is the best revenge for a breakup, put your efforts into that which it sounds like you are. sometimes talking to another man helps too. brings back your self esteem. go on plentyoffish.com..its free and has tons of men who just want to talk. ive met tons of friends on there. you could go on there and pretend you are someone else. advertise yourself as someone completely different from you..this takes time and would use up those hours of thinking. talking to people really helps..not about your situation..but about silly stuff..good luck with this. it takes time..but you'll get through it!
well give yourself a few good hard slaps around the face
to wake up to yourself
and get on with it
there is the hint - he does not want to work it out
and say GOODBYE!!!!
Yes, I went through both. At the same time, my dad was dignosed with cancer and was going to ultimately die. How did I cope? I cried .....a LOT. I walked the road outside my house...I prayed a LOT... worked feverishly at my job....ached, hurt, and lost weight. One day, I decided, you know what, I want this divorce! I am done with this marriage???, or whatever it was we had. I told her that, and went to the lawyer the next day to start it.....Total time between her leaving, and starting divorce...14 months! Good Luck to you! Time is a great friend!
If you let yourself feel down all the time,you will be.The secret is to keep as busy and occupied as you can.
Get up in the morning,grab your coffee and take a good walk even if it means getting up earlier than normal if you work.Walking is a wonderful outlet when you feel blue.Look around at all the wonderful world out there.Nature is beautiful.
Spend time with friends and family amd don't always talk about your problems.That's only more depressing.
Join a gym or women's group,spend time at the library,volunteer somewhere where you can appreciate how lucky you are when you look around at others who are not so fortunate as you and visit your church.They also have lots of groups you can get involved with.
Even grab a good book and get absorbed in it.
Obviously your husband wasn't interested in you any longer and who knows why these happen?You have to get over it and being very busy will help.Eventually the pain will start to go away and you'll look forward to making a new life for yourself.He's not worth all this turmoil in your life.You deserve a lot better.
All my best to you and God Bless.
it will get better. try seeing friends from work. for bowling movies or whatever.see a counseller, you need someone to talk to.you also need someone who is willing to work at a relationship.
I have been in your shoes. It is not easy.I had five children at the time.I made it thru and then met a wonderful man who helped me raise those kids. good luck and god bless
I don't know what works for everyone but for me it was going out with and talking to other men. There's something about being with a man after a bad relationship that just says ';Yeah I still got it!!';
Not sure if it's just the attention or the diversion but it got me through a tough time.
Only time will heal your hurt. BUT,,,,stop asking WHY!! You are tormenting yourself for no good reason. i do not know how old you are, but it took me about 43 years to figure out that I could not change other people, no matter how hard I tried.
Being busy is good, you must stay focused at work too, do not let your life spin out of control, make it your daily goal to maintain control. Things will get better, it sounds cliche, bit when one door closes another will open. Have faith, be good, sow seeds of good Karma. God Bless You.
Take if from an independent chic going through a divorce that should've been final 6 months ago but he hasn't acted on anything....
He loved you I'm sure. Its really not about love. He probably didn't want to go to counseling because he didn't want to take responsibility for anything. That would be admitting he was partially or completely wrong in whatever issues you guys had.
Be strong. You found the relationship wasn't working so you left. Good for you.
You will have good days and bad days. Give it time.
No comments:
Post a Comment