How do you cope being left out after divorce?

My husband met another woman 10 months ago and they now have a baby girl. We also had a son together. Its been a really hard time - his family we're very upset with what he did. However - now the new baby is born I no longer hear from them - and my husband, his new gf and baby are all going to America to stay with them at easter. He asked to take my son and wanted an answer straight away - I eventually said yes because i didnt want my son feeling left out. Yesterday though he said he still hadnt booked the tickets and if he went wasnt sure if he was taking my son. Im so angry - I feel he is just shitting on his own son. He even told my son he was going before he even checked with me. I wish I could cut them all out of my life and move on but for my son i cant. What do i doHow do you cope being left out after divorce?
Do you have a custody and visitation agreement with this man? The only thing you have to do is abide by that for legal reasons. As far as sending your son that far away from you if you do not have to, that is up to you. Personally, I would not send my son out of the country unless It was court ordered.How do you cope being left out after divorce?
I don't know if I'd let my son go out of the country with his father. They don't have to bring them back you know. My mother would never let me visit my dad when he was stationed in Germany because she was afraid he'd keep me there and from what I understand - there isn't anything you can do about it - except go and get the child back.





I could have it wrong, but it would be worth looking into before sending your son with your ex.
Make new friends and talk about it to good people who listen to your current problems. I would listen as I care about people with problems such as this, because I have gone through these kind of problems myself. You really need a man (Real Man) who will love you and your son just the way you are. Best of luck to you and your son....
There needs to be boundaries that are agreed between you about access. Its not an easy time and I feel for you, not only feeling rejected but also being protective about your son. Hang on in there, be patient and be firm. Set rules. Your ex must keep to those rules, especially regarding what he promises his son. Good luck.
Since he is the father of your son, you cannot completely cut him out of your childs life, but you can have minimal contact with him. Try have a visitation schedule drawn up legally and make him abide by it.
you have to be strong,be better for what u r now,and just don't burn bridges that u and ur son may use in the future,all u need is acceptance,for the things u couldn't change and hope for the better tommorow,time is the best medicine...
make sure that the visitation schedule is clear; this way your ex will have to stay within those lines; if he doesnt comply then contact the courts or where these arrangements have been made to make sure he is following them; this is the way its done in the states
Woah, poor you. If your child together is under teen years, i dont think i would be happy allowing the trip to go ahead. If it wasn't agreed by court order then i would arrange my own schedule of exciting events to do with child instead. As for telling the child before its confirmed, thanks to the fathers ill thought and planning, your child is learning a tough lesson that his dad makes promises he cant promise to keep.


As for others saying that care arrangements should be made by court, i dont agree. What if the child becomes unhappy with for good reason with the arrangements? What if the order doesn't allow for flexibility to childs other commitments such as camps with cubs etc and your ex is intolerrant? Then you are in the position of making them go in floods of tears for fear of being taken to court!
';He asked to take my son and wanted an answer straight away - I eventually said yes because i didnt want my son feeling left out. Yesterday though he said he still hadnt booked the tickets and if he went wasnt sure if he was taking my son.';





- Why are you angry at that. Of course he had to ask you FIRST before booking the flights!!! And he asked you if it was OK with you BEFORE he decided he was sure he wanted to take him, he was just letting you know he was thinking about taking him and wanted check it was ok with you.





';He even told my son he was going before he even checked with me.';





-How old is your son? Surely its up to your son to decide if he wants to go or not? I really dont think your son is being mis-treated here - I think you're just useing that as an excuse to hate your ex even more.
He's a piece of garabage %26amp; will probably always be like that. I have always taught my children %26amp; grandchildren that they ';ALWAYS'; have # 1 to count on %26amp; that is themselves. I would teach my child that they do not have ANY control over anyone else in life. There will also be situations in their lifetime that they will not have any control over. That is such... that is life. You best bet is not say anything negative about his dad. Tell your son his dad loves him very much yet sometimes situations.... plans can change or not happen at all %26amp; the best thing to do is not upset yourself. I ask my children/grandchildren.. when they become angry.. upset... who hurts the most... they reply ';I DO';. As your son gets older, he will come to see his true colors... yet as I always say'; All good things will work out'; %26amp; they do.
Thats a horrible thing to happen to anyone. Truely horrible, and the fact that you havent lost your fingers due to scratching his chest open and ripping out his heart - and you can type this, means you are doing well.


He has to realise, he chose another life. YOU need to say no. NO your son will be enjoying his real family, thats you, for easter. HE walked away - he can chase you now. YOU book yourself a trip for easter for you and your son and you both have the best time.


YOU look after you. God, I wish I could come over there and dump them all in a desert so they would leave you alone.


But you need to take some time out with your son, and your friends and get your life together, instead of repeatedly repairing the hole that he is tearing in your life. You got to take care of you first. STARTING with a holiday for you and your son for easter. Stuff him. He made his choice. Now I hope you've already hit him up for major child support and spousal support.
omg i cant believe the way he is being 2 his son, i never get how people can just give up on there kids when they have a new life, i say take him 2 the cleaners and say if he wants to see him you want the arrangements done through someone else, u don't wanna see him anymore, did he ever apologise for what he did 2 you. i think you seriously need to talk 2 him about undermining you and telling your son that he could go before he had discussed it with you, and before he even found out if there was room. i would be hasty about him taking your son to another country...i know it might sound silly but what if he didn't bring him back. and decided 2 ive out there..


your son will realise as he gets older that he is left out if they carry on to treat you 2 like they are.


i have seen this happen so many times. and its so unfare, all i can say is try to make things as easy as possible so that it doesn't effect your son..best of luck hey
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, but life goes on. Sit your son down and explain to him the best way you can, because such an ordeal takes longer than 10 months! 10 months is not long enough for either of you, it will take time.


It is too early for him to get over and adjust to such a trauma. He will need time to understand and time to get over it. Try to be strong and try to be there for him in every way you can. I know it will be hard on you both, but you will both get through it.


Keep on talking to your son if there is a family member or a family friend he as trust in to ask that person to talk to him. You will need to be strong for the both of you. Take care and trust in the lord to give you strength to make it through.