The woes of divorce good or bad?

We got married, but was not in love. How in the world did her and I make such a big mistake and then wait nearly 25 years to call it quits. We have one son 22 and he's grown. This has got to be the most difficult time of my life and I am devastated about marriage because I took the wrong path. Now I can't even think about ever getting married again. Honestly this divorce should've taken place 24 years ago. Has anybody ever been thru something like my situation? How did you cope after divorce? I have a big heart and I'm really torn up about this...it's like caught between a rock and another rock with no easy solution that wont hurt.The woes of divorce good or bad?
We all do stupid things, ';To Error is Human!'; Talk to your' son, he might surprise you with what he has to say. Give it some time, going to be a roller coaster ride, you will survive it. Might help if you can talk to a Priest or seek other counseling. You'll be alright, and you will be happy again!The woes of divorce good or bad?
Marriage is not always about 'love' but it is about trust, respect, common interests and kindness towards one another. It's also about starting over and over again. Its about patience with one another, its about tolerating each others faults. It's about nobody is perfect including myself!


Divorce has got to be the most rotten established law in the history of mankind. It tears families apart, it devastates the human heart (of the partners and the kids), it eliminates trust, turns you into cynical and bitter human beings. it makes you believe that the grass is greener somewhere else.


I hate divorce!!
The hurt is the hardest to get over.





Dive into other activities and stay busy. Do some things you've always wanted to do.





There are plenty of others out there in the same boat. But don't start dating again until you're ready for a commitment. And before you do, establish your boundaries, you can be choosey.
you dont stay with someone for 24 yrs without being in love it is their you just lost it and need to find it is it about money-sex -friends or you both just need some space dont waste it 24 years is love people can make a lot of mistakes in 24 years so just fix them or let them be history
even though i know my divorce is for the best for both of us, i'm torn too. it breaks my heart that my little family is no more, but we will get through it.
It sounds like you are still in love with her. If you were not it wouldn't be tearing you up. My advice would be to try and work it out with her. I'm guessing there is probably a lack of communication between the two of you. Sit down and speak some honesty with each other. Share your hearts and needs. Try taking a whole new approach to your marriage. Whatever you are doing now isn't working. To stay together for the long haul you need to be best friends. Try to have some fun with her, show her a good time. Don't act like you don't love her. You need to tell her how much you care and that she means the world to you. It might not be too late.
My husband was in a similar marriage with his ex-wife. He knew shortly after his children were born that he didn't really truly love or respect her, but he managed to stick around for 19 years! He beat himself up for a long time about wasted years, and then he decided that it was best to learn from the mistake he made and never settle again. We can't undo the past----we can only move forward with what we've learned. If you're really having a hard time and are beating yourself up to death over it, try therapy. It does help if you want it to. Good luck to you.
Okay, aside from the son you have together, I can see why you'd feel lost %26amp; that the marriage was for nothing; wondering what you were doing in a marriage that should have ended, as you said, 24 years ago. There's a feeling of ';who the hel* am I now, '; and ';what now.'; I can also understand you feeling devastated, because while you may not have been happy in that marriage for so long, it was still a part of you %26amp; your identity. All that's gone now.





While you %26amp; your ex may not have been IN love with eachother, you had to have loved one another. For whatever reasons, that relationship has ended. You can't go back in time, so you need to take right now %26amp; build from the rubble of that relationship. And for the sake of yourself %26amp; anyone that may come into your life in the future, give yourself some ';alone'; time - you don't want to jump back into another relationship, %26amp; find out later that you made another mistake.
You shouldn't think about getting maried again! If the right woman comes along you will know!! Until then, focus on yourself and working through the issues that go along with a divorce.





I was with my husband for 20 years - my entire adult life. I don't think I was ever truly in love with him but i WAS committed to my family! I finally reached my breaking point and filed for divorce. Fortunetely I went through a lot of the seperation anxiety before he ever moved out. Since he's been gone, I have adjusted pretty well. To be honest, it is nice coming home without all the stress and tension in the house.





I'm not sure what you are struggling with the most. Is it the change? Is it the fear of being alone? Is it the fear of making the same mistake again? Regardless, you aren't ready to get involved in another relationship at this point. Just take time for you! Heal, and then when and if the right person enters your life you will be prepared for the happiness that she brings.





Good luck!
Stop beating yourself up. It is over and if that is the way it is meant to be, leave it that way. Do not go around over analyzing this. It will put you over the edge and it sounds to me like you have some living to do, but first things first, ask yourself if you really want this over now***if so, get on with your life and stay out of hers. If it is not over, then you two have some serious talking to do. As far as thinking about getting married again***don't. Down the road you may change your mind but do not get caught up in that trap either. I think it is time you lived and had fun and keep the ';love'; word out of things for awhile. Take care and smile, have some fun, and be happy.