How do i cope with my divorce? i am down emotionally?

I am going through a divorce and pretty darn depressed. What started out as an amicable split up has spiraled into drama and ugly arguments. I know its going to be over and I never have to deal with my ex again, but I just feel bad, and most of the time I am angry, confused, regretful, and have anxiety over this. I mostly feel bad because I am embarrassed of people I knew that i am getting the divorce. My EX has told people bad things about me and I feel like I cannot even go to a social gathering anymore out of fear of people talking or belittling me. I come from a culture where divorce is shunned upon.


I am seeing a counselor, and feel great when I have a visit, but then go home feeling depressed until my next appointment. What things did you do to cope? Any friendly advice? Am I losing it?How do i cope with my divorce? i am down emotionally?
What I think is happening is that you are getting rid of a crappy guy and that is good. Believe it or not, he feels like crap, cannot handle it, and would rather off-load his crappy feelings about himself onto you. It's technical tern is ';projective identification.'; He feels better because rather than feel his own pain, he puts it on you. Now it looks like he is fine and you are the problem.





In short, this is his crap. Hopefully you can learn to be indifferent to him and his thinking. You will then feel better (not great).





Another part of your depression may be your regret for wasting so much time with such a loser. You probably also wonder why did I get hooked up with such a bonehead. All these put together make you feel low (never mind what he say s about you - which makes things even worse).





Your true friends won't belive him. Your enemies will, and that will make your life easier in the future.How do i cope with my divorce? i am down emotionally?
The feelings you describe sound rather common for someone going through divorce. I had some of the same feelings. I also experienced the verbal abuse by the ex. Some of the ways I coped included getting involved with a support group. So many marriages end in divorce and plenty of groups are out there. You can even find them on liine. I went to a local church which sponsored the divorce group. I worked a lot, too. I kept busy so I did not have too much idle time. After a month or so, I started getting out and doing things I had long wanted to do, like skydiving. I went to a movie for the 1st time by myself and went to restaurants for dinner. I brought a book to read. I found that I enjoyed all of the activities I did alone. I also made new friends and enjoyed their company a great deal. I suppose it took me about a month to feel good enough to get social again. A whole lot changes with divorce. Finally, and most importantly, I used the time alone to figure out what my part was in the divorce. I wanted to know what NOT to do again if marriage becomes an option or in a committed relationship. During this time, I also came to understand that some people, no matter how much or how little you do, no matter how much you give in the relationship, will never be satisfied because of an emptiness within their own souls. Hang in there...there IS life after divorce.
I would go to chruch frind Jesus .He can do all things put the marraige back together or help you get through it.God Bless you
I am sorry to hear about your current position. I hope things turn around for you. I think divorce can bring out the worst in people. It is an emotionally trying occurance and it can take it's toll on both people involved. It can be phsyically tiring as well. What I suggest would be to change your routine. Keep your self busy, get a hobby, start an exercise program that is fun and low impact (maybe belly dancing? Veena and Lena are Goddesses) When I'm low I, personally, am all about a hair cut. Buy a new outfit and go out with friends. The people that know who and care about you won't believe what your EX is saying.





Find something to enjoy in this new life of yours and use it for all it's worth. Good luck. I hope life treats you better in the future.
Hi,





I'm sorry for what you're going through.





I suggest to go with your gut feeling.


Secondly, keep seeing your counselor and stay close to the people that support you the most, I'm sure you know who they are.


Lastly, divorce is painful and over time your wound will start to heal. Keep busy with activities that interest you and that will help.





Good luck to you and happy holidays.
My daughter is going through the same thing...all i can say is time...time will heal it Honey.