How to cope after divorce?

please help me.im 32, i left my husband 5 months ago(after 2 years of marriage) , now I am in the process of divorce. it was the hardest decision ever, because i still loved him, but he was verbally abusive towards me, and always put me down and pushed me once or twice. the trouble is, im really worried about myself. i can honestly say, before i met him, i was a lovely person, and really believed in myself, and my life had 'zing' to it.


during my marriage, i was first shocked when he first started to call me names and swear at me. (i had never used these words before, my family isnt like that). i used to get really upset and pleaded him to stop, but he never did. The problem is, when he wouldnt stop, i started doing calling names to try and show him how much it hurt. the rpoblem is, however, i dont like how ive become. i know im going through a divorce, but i find myself losing my temper when i never used to before, getting really stressed over little things. also i find myself using these horrible words in my head if im angry about something or someone. its really upsetting me because i dont remember being like this before.


i feel like ive 'lost' myself, i dont know who i am anymore, and i dont feel attractive anymore . i also dont feel like im a 'nice' person anymore, which is the most heartbreaking thing, because i used to pride myself on being really nice to everyone , it made me really happy.


im a dentist , and i find myself being slightly 'less patient' with my patients (sorry!). nothing serious though, just a little bit different to how i was.


are all of the above feelings 'normal'? will i ever go back to that lovely person i once was? im so scared he's 'rubbed' off on me..im also scared that if i stay the same way, ill ruin any future relationship i might have..


thanks in advance for your answers, i really appreciate the time you take out to write back


xxxxxxxHow to cope after divorce?
i know how you feel, I'm 28 and going thorugh a divorce after a 2 year marriage. My husband was very negligent. H e would ignore me for days and never spend any time with me. I feel lost. I am a teacher and find myself being less patient with my students. I'm a really nice person and he made me have to be tough and thick-skinned and I miss being the kind person that i used to be. I've been exercising and getting closer to my old shape has helped me feel better about myself. I take more pride in my appearance these days and that has helped too. I try to surround myself with things that make me happy. Hang in there, it gets better with time.How to cope after divorce?
I dont request divorse upon any marriage! me and my wife are seperated for now after 3 yrs of marriage and it sucks! i would always recomend counseling that what it is there for! not saying it will work but always try that before turning in the towel! i'm trying to convince my wife.
Don't go into denial, but trial out the new life and work for better days because life is too short to be miserable. You have your whole life in front of you so spend it wisely and happy.
Time would do what you deserve.
It is very normal to act and talk like you have been. Going through a divorce is in the same ballpark as someone close to you who dies. What you are experiencing will fade away someday and you will be back to your sweet self. It takes time to do this. A divorce is hard all the way around. I think the main thing in your favor is that you recognize this behavior. You've been hurt emotionally. It hurts terrible. But like I said it will fade away and it takes time to heal. Just hang in there and try to keep this behavior in mind so you can work on it while you are going through your divorce. Try not to worry about your future relationships you may have. I'm sure you are not looking and won't be for quite awhile yet. This will give you the time you need to heal and get back to yourself. I've been through this before is how I know. In case you are wondering about my answer to you. Smile and keep your chin up. You're gonna be fine.
Everyone that comes into our lives effects us, our character, and shows us who we truly are by forcing us to make decisions as to what we accept and do not accept. This man in the least, made you show yourself that you do not tolerate verbal abuse. Be happy and confident that you have a mentality far wiser than many other women out there, that are afraid to leave and divorce because they can't get away from an abusive person. As far as changing you, well you are who you are because of the experiences in your life.... if your that bad of a person, then start to force yourself to change your thoughts and mentalities. Because the most important thing is being happy with yourself.
My heart goes out to you sweetie, you did not change at all is just


a face you going true because you are so angry and disappointed


at the bad hand you got from life. But think of the following time heals


and soon you will be back to your self again. Now.. I am a very


observant person and by reading between the lines I know you are


a very sweet and good person and the next guy is going to be


one of the luckiest guys on earth. Be proud of yourself (KISS 4 U)
You are in one of the many phases of getting past a divorce. You will never be the same because as humans we change as our life lessons change us. You can be a better person from this though, by not losing sight of your strength. It took alot of strength to realize you deserved to be treated better. It took alot of insight to know that you were not going to take abuse in any form. You will get past this self loathing part of the divorce process. You just have to believe that you were worth enough to get out of a bad relationship, so you are worth enough to have a good sense of self. You are not defined by the good and bad things that happen to you in life. You ARE defined by how you react to these things and how you overcome hardship. You should be proud of yourself. Let go of the hurt and the anger and you will see that you are not the same person that you used to be, but a better version of the old you.





Good Luck.