How should I cope with my stepdad?

My mom married her husband about 10 years ago. He is very controlling and sometimes mean. Not Phyiscaly but mentally abusive. The problem is I have to live with them while I go through a divorce. I have kids and he snaps at them often. He HATES me. We live together and he wont speak to me. I am absolutely stuck with nowhere to go. Cant go to a shelter because I am going through a custody case. I am trying to move but just cant yet. Im moving within the next few months when the case is over and hopefully I am allowed to move away. Right now though, this man is making my life HELL. He argues with my mom all the time and tells her to throw me out on the street with the kids. He is actually good to my mom most of the time but every so often he gets angry at me over little things and almost walks out on my mom. Im sick over this on top of trying to cope with my divorce. He gets under my skin so bad with his hatred toward me. Its just a nightmare! What can I do to cope?How should I cope with my stepdad?
Get connected to social services Salavation Army, and churches.





There are houses where women live together with their children for specified periods of time. The houses require that you work and do chores. The whole purpose is YMCA based - you save on rent so you can get your own place. These are not that difficult to get into.





You actually *can* stay in a shelter if you are in an abusive environment. It wont affect your custody case. If you stay where you are and the children tell their father or the judge that you are staying in the environment you're describing?


That will *definately* affect your ability to maintain custody.





Judges now treat men equally and will award your ex full custody if the judge has reason to believe that your environment is not healthy and stable.





So there is no coping here. Get pro-active about solving the problem.How should I cope with my stepdad?
First of all, I am very sorry to hear about this. It isn't good for either you or your children. Does he feel threatened by you? Does he feel your mom is dividing her affection/attention between you and him? You will always be her daughter, and after being married for 10 years it seems he should have adjusted by now. He obviously resents you/your children being back in the home.





If you can tune him out, try to. Spend as much time away from the home as you possibly can. Find friends to talk with about this, or go to some sort of support group for divorcing women. You need emotional support. Your children will be badly affected by this, so be patient and extremely loving towards them.





I wish I had a better, more helpful, answer for you.
First of all. Think about what your mother is going through, trying to help you. (You didn't mention her in the equation). Next, get the idea out of your head that it is your mother's house and you have a right to be there. You don't! This man that hates you and wants the worst for you is allowing you to live in his house! Maybe, just maybe, you should tell him, how much you appreciate what he is doing for you and YOUR kids. Have you allowed them anytime alone, since you moved in? Have you offered to pay for a night out for them?


Well, I've said enough. good luck!
These living conditions are horrific .This man is so bad what is wrong with your mom does she care about you and her grandchildren .Your mom should be ashamed of herself .He is not your father and your mom needs to put him in his place.My god she lets him act this way towards you and your children .Your mom is to blame she is giving him the right act like such a fool.......Talk to your mom alone make her know what she and her dumb husband are doing to you and my god your children....I wish you much luck and happiness bless you kara
go 2 peekvid and watch the movie the secret
Somethings wrong with him big time. Just ignore him till your able to move out. Good luck with dealing with him.
Do you have any other family to stay with? Like your dad, or aunt, sibling, cousin or even a good friend. Maybe you could look in the local paper and see if someone needs a roomate. I cant imagine how hard this must be on you. Just please keep being strong for your children. I will keep you in my prayers. Take care.
CRIKY THIS IS HARD!! I am having the same problem. His problem is.. he did not plan on adult children who messed up their lives, to move in with him and HIS wife! You have to respect HIS home, and make every effort to be a HOUSE GUEST, which is what you are. Otherwise, you should be out, because YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE TO DO WHAT YOU DID! And don't blame anybody else. You have important decisions to make and you do NOT want to make





And judging by your other questions, you are just full of YOU. Which makes it really hard for you to see how anybody else feels.
If it possible sit down with your stepdad and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you want there to be a good atmosphere for the children and say you are not going to be there forever, because i dont think you will be.





He most likely feels like his space is being invaded, tell him you understand how he feels and try your best to stay within his rules because afterall it is his home.





This will make him feel like you care about his feelings and if there is any good under his tough exterior then he should calm down a little bit.





If this is not possible have a talk with your mum, don't whisper about it because if he is there he will feel like you are talking about him behind his back and may resent you even more. Maybe go out for a walk with your mum. explain how bad you are feeling and maybe if you say they get on well together when she has talked to him he will calm down.





If you dont think this is possible at all then remember things are going to get better, when your divorce is over you will be free ti do whatever you want and will not have to live with him anymore. Try not to get to stressed about it because one day it could get built up and you will end up saying something you really dont want to say.





Help out with things in the house or maybe offer to do something together that he enjoys, maybe to get to know him better.





If he insists on saying he wants you out there is nothing else you can do. Over time he will get used to your presence and swallow his pride.





I hope everything goes well for you and you are happy.
Have you tried sitting down with him and talking to him on why he 'hates you'? Did you get along before you moved in, maybe he just doesn't know how to handle the situation, no excuse for his attitude especially towards the children. But maybe talking will help, sometimes it does, sometimes they are just jerks and nothing helps. Good luck, divorce is tough.
Am sorry you're going trow this is hard, you should try talking to you're mom maybe she can talk to him and find


what's the problem. You're kids should go trough this


is not there fault is good that you're leaving and few months


try to live you're life and save you're children and be happy


try to make better this few months there go fast and be more


Patience more then what you are ready are. Time will fly...
Sit him down and talk to him...Tell him how much you care for him (even if you don't)..Tell him the thought of him not liking you is tearing you apart (even if it's not)... MAKE HIM FEEL BAD!!!!! This may sound mean but will probably work... Tell him you are sorry for what ever you may have done to make him feel this way about you but you wanted to let him know you still care for him the way a daughter cares for her father (I know he's your step dad...)


Seriously make him feel BAD....