How do you a help a preteen cope with divorce?

My husband out of the blue filed a divorce on me .I have done nothing wrong except suffer from depression due to being a carer. My daughter and I stayed away. My daughter is in shock and wants nothing to do with her father.Is she allowed to have say in how much contact she wants with her father?How do you a help a preteen cope with divorce?
I am a young teenager and when My parents divorced I know what ticked me off... first of all.. I hated when I heard my parents talk bad about eachother.. so even though you hate him ... try not to diss him in front of ur daughter! Tell her that her dad loved her... and even though it didnt work out with you two that she should still have a relationship with him... help her work things out and this could help you and your husband stay friends which would GREATLY help your daughter... and save her tears. I have experience in this area and I hope everything works out%26lt;3How do you a help a preteen cope with divorce?
I think you should tell your daughter the TRUTH. Tell her that her father is leaving the two of you, you're not sure why, that you're absolutely devistated over the whole thing, and that you wish you knew what to do to make it easier for her. If she wants to track down her dad to get an explanation, that's her choice. But why lie?
Depends on the state your in, each state has there own set of rules when it comes to divorce and visitation of a child. If she's at least 14 she may have a right, but don't encourager her to never see him. One day she may blame you for her relationship with her dad if she never See's him. He may not be a great dad but his still her dad and I'm sure he doesn't want her to hate him. Let her know and see that your OK with all this, even if your not, and that she needs to keep the lines of communications open with him. As she gets older her feelings may change again about all this , she still may not want to see him or she may be glad she still has him in her life. But she needs to decide that, not you.
loo loo is very wise...as an adult of divorced parents,I know that that was the missing link in my life...the absence of love from my father, my mother made sure of that due to her bitterness...make sure she knows.





Addition: I just read your edit.Why? Because it's not about you anymore, it's his blood,his daughter, her daddy...you cannot control this relationship.