How do you cope with your parents divorce?

My brother and I are in our early twenties and my father out of the blue decides to leave my mother and move away. It was a huge shock to my mother as well as everyone else. Noone saw it coming for a million miles. Is it normal to hate my father? I honestly feel like he is betraying me. Is it normal to never want to see him or involve him in my life anymore?How do you cope with your parents divorce?
he is still your father........the divorce is between your mother and your father not you and your brother and your parents.....your dad still loves you and your brother very much.....How do you cope with your parents divorce?
The healthiest way to handle this is to realize a son or daughter has no reason or business getting into marital or divorce spats with their parents.





';I honestly feel like he is betraying me.'; Your father is still your father...how is that possible?
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it's OK for you to not like what your father did,but remember he is still your father and you should want him to do what ever make him happy even if it make you and your family unhappy. with time your mother will be OK.
sorry for the incident. you should not hate him. but if he wants nothing to do with you, then have nothing to do with him. support your mom and your siblings. good luck.
Hello there. Sorry to hear about this..I was 26 when the same thing happened to me and although I was grown up and working it was a huge shock.





My parents were always seen as an ideal couple and hell broke loose when the **** hit the fan. Turns out my dad had been involved with his secretary for a year and a half already; had set her up in an apartment and had a three-month old baby when he finally spilled the beans...! (She is 3 years younger than me..!)





My mom almost died (literally) and my younger brothers totally freaked out, too. The story is too long to tell -but in the end he married this woman and now lives with her and their son. He isn't happy, though. He has many regrets and still feels guilty.....My mom is happier now and does all the things she didn't do before, when she was too busy catering to my dad. Isn't life ironic?


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Well.....It was a terrible thing... and it took me a looooong time to recover. I went to therapy and this helped me vent my anger. I took anti-depressants and exercised a lot, too. I got busy and tried not to take sides- which was very hard to do.





What you are feeling- the anger, the betrayal, the backstabbing, the insecurity....it's all normal and part of the grieving process. What is important is to understand a couple of things: 1) This is NOT your fault; nor do you have control over it....and 2) You will all survive this, and be stronger in the future. Trust me.





Please remember we are human, and we all make mistakes.


If your dad has done this, it's because he has serious issues he has to deal with and although I'm not on his side, I can tell you he must be suffering too, because he KNOWS he's hurting you all.( It took me more than 10 years to finally forgive my father for what he did to my mom and us; but I feel much better now. Life goes on, and the anger you rightly feel now has to be dealt with or it will poison you from within.)





There is a saying in my country; roughly translated it goes something like this: ';Sooner or later, every bowl of soup grows cold.'; It used to infuriate me to hear it when things were so hot; but now I realize time can help you overcome things that are painful and that time can also help you see things in a different perspective.





I wish you and your brother well, and hope you can seek help if you need it. I also hope your mom finds comfort in her friends, family and church. TAKE CARE and ask God to help you and to heal you. He is the best doctor around!!!
It is just fine to hate your father, sounds like he needs a little heat coming his way. Is he going through a mid life crisis or what?
Hey Hun,


Here's what I did...


I was much younger, about 15-16 when my parents split... It was also a very spur of the moment thing and my dad didnt talk or see me or my brother for over a year...


We were upset and mad and said we'd never want to see him again but now almost 4 years later everyone seems to be able to get along... Its hard at first and you are going to feel like you never want to speak to him again... but he is your dad and if he tries to be part of your life... then you should really give him a chance... My dad felt like everything was falling apart around him and thats why he was distant, Hang in there :)